Pam's Lil Kidney / PLK's Journey

  With the end of Cycle 3, it's dawning on me, I really am almost finished!  As I start writing, it seemed like a non-eventful cycle, but as I keep writing, it was hugely eventful! I'm pissed that so far Doc Dean looks to be right.  I was really hoping my body (and mind) would start adapting and I would be maintaining better each cycle, but that's not what's happening.  My mind is fine.  My body is reacting "normally" or "as predicted," which is what currently pisses me off :)  Week 1: And... detour right off the bat!!  So far, my bloodwork has passed muster on Day 1 and I get my drugs as scheduled. Today, my bloodwork failed and this is AFTER a week off.  I was so upset.  So, in addition to my "bad" drug week, I got the extra addition of the blood med, Zarxio, to add to the fun.  First time to do this combo and I am NOT happy.   Definitely harder than the last 2 cycles.  Fatigue, constant headache, nausea and throw-ups.  ...

  Yep, that's me and that's my friends!  (And for a short time that really IS me leading the climb as we enter the Talimena Scenic Byway.  Thanks Jeff)  In our sport, we put ourselves through hell... tornadoes, torrents of rain, blazing heat, sub-freezing temps, dehydration, screaming muscles, cramping muscles, the list could go on for days.  Best thing is you know there's always someone that understands.  I do it because I can and there will come a day when I can't.  Today is not that day! Finishing a great, fun read by a non-cyclist who gets it!   Paddlefish by Christine Warren.  Similar to our 1200km/750mile events, Christine decided to paddle her first Texas Water Safari.  A grueling 260-mile paddling race from the Texas Hill Country to the Gulf Coast.  Like us, they race self-supported.  You break it, you fix it.  You need it, you find it.  And you do it before the next time cutoff.  I'm tinkering with mayb...

I'm a Randonneur and an Ultra-Cyclist.  To play these games, we all agree to follow certain rules.  Stay on the agreed-upon course.  Stop at the checkpoints or controls.  Don't take shortcuts.  It's really not that hard.  We just ride what we say we're going to ride.  Work is the same, do what I say I'll do and (usually!) when I'll do it.  And that's how my whole life is wired... until chemo. November 2nd, Doc Dean lays out a plan and we both agree:  4 cycles.  Each cycle to be 2 weeks on, 1 week off.  3x/week.  I'm even given an option to do it over 4 weeks to have a better chance at a 200k ride day, but I tell him I want to stay on the recommended course (LOL, lots of bicycle analogies).  Tell me what to do and I'll do it.  My brain rewires to process and I'm on board.  Let's do it. Instead, my chemo "plan" or "course" is starting to look more like the artwork I did above for one of our information controls/che...

So far, I had to become a complete brat to get my checkmarks done.  Feels like when I was building this house.  I new one of us was doing it for the first time (me), but I had no clue the other side ACTS like it.  So I have to become the Team Lead and that's fine, but then don't screw with me, because I WILL lead.  I'm hoping I'm restoring confidence for them as well that I only grow horns and tail as needed, then they go away. -------------------- Since each time I use Linda's name (for whatever reason), I'm still greeted with a bit of a gasp, I'm pretty confident Linda is the Grand Poo-Bah and it was a relief and huge pleasure to meet her on my first day of chemo.  Below is just for me because I don't want to lose the trail.  She played a big part in restoring my confidence and keeping me positive and resolute.  Since this we've visited a couple of times and I enjoy her immensely. (ps. with Cycle 1 about to complete, so far everything she told me w...

Warning ~ Science Nerd Alert! ~ Funny, I don't "feel" smarter, but I AM more and more fascinated!  My Smart Port Since I'll be hooked up to IV's 3x/week (maybe every week) for 12-16 weeks, I get my very own port installed in my chest and here's what I know so far... this is so cooooool! I completely nerd out on science stuff, so you might get bored and skip this! Ultrasound IV For me, the second hurdle to surgery became the IV.  After my kidney removal, my heart is gratefully not pumping through the stage 4 tumor, so my blood pressure has dropped back to lower-than-normal lows and I'm learning my veins are considered small.  Add to that, they're getting pissed off being unsuccessfully and repeatedly poked.  Sigh.  They can't get a vein for the surgery IV, but instead of keeping on poking, they call the "pick team."  In rolls the ultrasound and Batman Danny lets me quiz him.  He shows me multiple veins on the ultrasound that are like an in...

"Fear is the mind-killer.”  Planning / trying t o face this with curiosity instead of fear.  I’m afraid, but trying to be aware and respectful.  Feel like a kid starting at a new school :-)   Have my satchel overflowing with blanket, iPad, snacks, etc. PLUS my little ice chest, new port installed yesterday (and icing worked MAGIC on the bruising... never forget the basics!)  Bummed that because of Covid,  I won’t be allowed to share the bags of candy, warm socks, magazines, etc that I bought to share with my fellow chemo pals, but I hope I can still share with nurses once I feel my way around. Was glad Genesis suggested the numbing cream last week during my Chemo-Teach, so I got that applied to the port site and safely covered with plastic.  Here I go... Met today's (and tomorrow’s) nurse Abigail and partner Melinda.  Abigail is engaging, loud and empathetic.  Young and newlywed in April, they rescaled their wedding from 400... to none. ...